The Suffering of a Child

A Mother’s Raw Journey Through Childhood Cancer and Faith

This is a raw, profound journal chronicling the author's experience during her 5-year-old daughter Emily's battle with terminal brain cancer. It’s written with unflinching honesty from within the storm of crisis, an intimate account exploring one of the cruelest experiences a parent can face—witnessing their child's suffering and death.

Through carefully arranged thematic reflections, So examines how Emily's illness affected every relationship in their orbit: mother and child, husband and wife, sisters, healthcare providers, and community. The journal captures both the crushing weight of grief and the unexpected moments of grace that emerged from their darkest days.

The book grapples with difficult existential questions about faith, meaning, and purpose when confronted with seemingly senseless suffering. It offers no easy answers but instead documents the author's authentic spiritual journey through doubt, anger, and eventual acceptance.

Both a heartbreaking memoir and a meditation on finding meaning in loss, it will speak to anyone who has experienced profound grief or walked alongside those in pain. This powerful testament to a mother's love and a child's courage illuminates how we might face life's deepest sorrows with honesty and hope.

Endorsements

This book is an open window to a mother's heart and soul as she is reluctantly taken on the painful journey of her precious daughters decline, suffering and death. For anyone experiencing the loss of a child or caring for others traversing a similar path, Heather's journal may help provide the words you cannot find or know how to say. 

David Clarke
Senior Minister, Hoxton Park Anglican Church, Sydney, Australia

... invites us into a raw and intimate expression of unfathomable loss and leads us to lay our grieving hearts at the feet of Jesus. Whether you are suffering or trying to understand the sorrow of someone you love, this brief book is beyond useful.

J. Garrett Kell
Pastor, Del Ray Baptist Church, Alexandria, Virginia

About the Author

Heather So is an occupational therapist, researcher, and mother. After caring for her terminally ill daughter, she gained a new perspective and is committed to integrating spirituality into healthcare to support clients and families.